I’m not even the kind of person with trust issues, but if there’s one kind of person I can’t trust, it’s someone with a center part.
When someone doesn’t part their hair, they’re saying they are too fabulous, too busy, or too indecisive to choose a part. They have other priorities – whether being great, trying to get their entire life together, or figuring out where to do brunch on Sunday – to part their hair. I respect the genuine hustle or the human struggle, whichever is most applicable.
When someone parts their hair to one side, it says: my life is a bit out of balance, but I still make the most of it. I’m great at some things, but not good at others. One half of my face looks better than the other, so I part to either highlight or cover up the unfavorable side. I’m carefree, I’m fun, and I don’t take myself too seriously. If you’ve noticed, this is where I fall.
Now people who part their hair down the center want you to believe that their life is perfectly symmetrical, that both sides of their face are equally fantastic, and they had enough time to make sure that said part was perfectly centered. If they had time and confidence to do all that, then either they’re not about anything – and hence I don’t trust them – or they’re putting up the biggest front of life – and again, I don’t trust them.
You might be thinking girl you crazy, but go ahead and wrack your brain for every woman who’s screwed you over in the past 5 years.